# Boys Don’t Cry? Rethinking Emotions and Manhood Through SEL in Pakistani Secondary Schools

## TL;DR

This study explores how social-emotional learning in Pakistani schools intersects with local ideas of masculinity, revealing how emotions are managed and how SEL can be improved to support healthier male identities.

## Contribution

The study introduces gender-attentive SEL design principles to reduce stigma and support non-violent masculinities in Pakistani secondary schools.

## Key findings

- Sadness and fear are seen as threats to masculinity, while anger is associated with strength.
- Emotion work like 'switching off' feelings is linked to ideals of endurance and honor.
- SEL practices can foster empathy but also reinforce stigma when emotions are labeled unmanly.

## Abstract

Global research on social–emotional learning (SEL) demonstrates robust benefits for student well-being and academic outcomes, yet SEL is still largely treated as gender and culturally neutral, with little attention to how it intersects with locally specific constructions of masculinity. We address this gap through a qualitative study in three urban secondary schools in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa, Pakistan, combining focus groups with boys aged 13–16 (n = 18), student interviews (n = 10), and teacher/counsellor interviews (n = 10). Using critical masculinity theory, the sociology of emotions, and transformative SEL, a reflexive thematic analysis identifies four patterns: (i) sadness and fear framed as status risks while anger signals strength, (ii) “switching off” feelings as masculinized emotion work tied to locally valued ideals of sabar (endurance) and izzat (honour), (iii) fragile “islands of care” where privacy and dignity enable conditional vulnerability, and (iv) SEL-like practices fostering empathy but also reinforcing stigma when emotions are labelled unmanly. We argue that SEL is a contested site where masculinities are reproduced and renegotiated, and we propose five findings-grounded design principles, including graduated emotional entry points, anti-ridicule norms, and indirect pedagogy for gender-attentive SEL that reduces stigma and supports non-violent masculinities in Pakistani secondary schooling.