‘It’s quite difficult to put Autistic relationships in a box’: A qualitative exploration of romantic relationships in gender and sexually diverse Autistic adults

TL;DR

This study explores how Autistic adults who are part of gender or sexual minorities experience romantic relationships, emphasizing individuality and rejecting social norms.

Contribution

The study provides new insights into romantic relationships among under-researched gender and sexually diverse Autistic adults.

Findings

Participants described relationships as individual, valuable, and shaped by mutual understanding and communication.

They emphasized the fluidity between friendships and romantic partnerships.

Participants valued rejecting prescriptive social norms in favor of personalized relationship dynamics.

Abstract

Autistic people enjoy friendships and sexual and romantic relationships. Many Autistic people are also part of a gender or sexual minority, yet gender and sexual minorities are often under-represented in autism research. The current study asked, ‘How do gender and sexually diverse Autistic adults experience and perceive romantic relationships?’ Sixteen gender and/or sexual minority Autistic adults took part in semi-structured interviews. Interviews were transcribed and analysed using thematic analysis. Four main themes were identified from the interview data: (1) ‘It’s Quite Difficult to Put Autistic Relationships Into a Box’, (2) Challenging Social Norms, (3) The Perks and Perils of Online Dating and (4) Understanding and Neurotype. Overall, participants described their relationships as individual, inherently valuable and shaped by unique preferences, mutual understanding and explicit communication. They also emphasized the fluidity between friendships and romantic partnerships, the importance of mutual understanding and the inherent value of rejecting prescriptive social norms in favour of individualized romantic relationship dynamics. These findings highlight relationship structures in Autistic groups who identify as gender and/or sexual minority.

Autistic people enjoy friendships and sexual and romantic relationships. A proportion of the Autistic community identify as being a part of a gender and sexual minority (e.g., trans, non-binary, gay, lesbian, etc.), yet this group is often under-represented in autism research. The current study focused on this group specifically and asked them, ‘How do gender and sexually diverse Autistic adults experience and perceive romantic relationships?’ Sixteen gender and/or sexual minority Autistic adults took part in interviews. Interviews were transcribed and analysed using thematic analysis. Four main themes were identified from the interview data: (1) ‘It’s Quite Difficult to Put Autistic Relationships Into a Box’, (2) Challenging Social Norms, (3) The Perks and Perils of Online Dating and (4) Understanding and Neurotype. The participants described their relationships as individual, valuable and shaped by unique preferences, mutual understanding and clear communication. They also talked about how the lines between friendships and romantic partnerships can be blurred, for example, sometimes they have sex with their friends and don’t see this as an activity exclusively for romantic relationships. They also mentioned the importance of mutual understanding and the inherent value of rejecting social norms in favour of more individualized romantic relationships.

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