“Why Are You Happy if Your Dad Died?”: The Social Experiences of Parentally Bereaved Children in Elementary and Middle Schools

TL;DR

This study explores how children who have lost a parent experience social support in school, revealing a range of peer responses from supportive to harmful.

Contribution

The study provides new qualitative insights into the social experiences of parentally bereaved children in Israeli schools.

Findings

Peer support for bereaved children ranges from supportive to teasing behaviors.

Social responses significantly affect children's sense of belonging and grief expression.

Findings suggest a need for school-based training to improve support for bereaved children.

Abstract

Background: Parental loss in childhood is a significant developmental risk factor, underscoring the need for evidence-based knowledge to guide support. Although social responses play a central role in children’s adjustment to loss, little is known about how parentally bereaved children in Israel experience social support in school. Methods: This qualitative study examined how parentally bereaved children in elementary and middle school experience social responses in the school context. Thirty-six participants were interviewed: 20 children who participated in dyadic interviews with their 16 surviving parents. Linguistic analysis, combined with Grounded Theory, was used to analyze the data. Results: Peer support was found to lie on a continuum ranging from support, through an unintentional lack of support, to deliberate nonsupport (teasing). These patterns shaped children’s experiences of returning to school, their sense of belonging, and their ability to share their grief. Conclusions: The findings, discussed in light of the Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement, highlight the crucial role of peers in children’s adaptation to parental loss. Developing evidence-based knowledge in this area may inform policy change and tailored school-based training to promote optimal support for parentally bereaved children.

Figures