The “second empty nest”: The lived experiences of older women whose intensive ‘grandmotherhood’ ended

TL;DR

This study explores how Israeli grandmothers experience a transition when their caregiving role ends, impacting their identity and emotional well-being.

Contribution

The paper introduces the concept of the 'second empty nest' to describe the unique identity challenges faced by older women when their caregiving role ends.

Findings

Participants viewed their caregiving role as a second motherhood, central to their identity.

The end of caregiving led to emotional difficulties similar to mid-life 'empty nest' syndrome but with greater intensity.

Coping strategies were necessary to address the identity crisis associated with the 'second empty nest.'

Abstract

In Israel, grandmothers constitute the primary source of informal childcare. This intensive caregiving refills “the empty nest” and aligns with core Israeli cultural values: it reinforces the active Sabra ethos (contrasting with the stereotype of the Diaspora Jew as passive), and maintains the grandmother`s feminine identity through childcare—central to womanhood in Israel’s pro-natalist society. This study examined the lived experiences of Israeli older women whose intensive grandmotherhood has diminished or ceased. Through in-depth interviews with 11 grandmothers and Moustakas’ three-phase phenomenological analysis, we identified three key themes: a view of the active grandmother role as a second motherhood, the difficulties experienced following cessation of intensive caregiving, and the strategies employed to cope with the resulting void. Participants’ experiences showed both positive and negative aspects of the intensive grandmotherhood. After cessation of their caregiving role, some showed remarkable similarities to mid-life mothers experiencing the “empty nest” syndrome. However, the “second empty nest” seems to pose more profound identity challenges, as it represents a final passage into what is culturally constructed as passive, genderless old age. Accordingly, grandmothers are required to employ various strategies to address these challenges. The “second empty nest” pertains to the experience of older women in many countries, but seems particularly intense within Israeli society, given the cultural emphasis on activity as characteristic of “worthy” (non-old) individuals and childcare as a defining element of (non-old) femininity. These findings demonstrate how deeply personal experiences of older adults are rooted in the socio-cultural construction of old age.