# Children and divorce: A rapid review targeting cognitive dissonance, in the context of narrative therapy

## TL;DR

This paper explores how narrative therapy can help children aged 3-12 cope with the emotional conflict of parental divorce by addressing cognitive dissonance.

## Contribution

The study introduces a novel application of narrative therapy to reduce children's cognitive dissonance during divorce by focusing on their conflicting beliefs.

## Key findings

- Children's loyalty conflicts during divorce can be both harmful and helpful in adjusting to new family dynamics.
- Narrative therapy helps children reframe conflicting beliefs about their parents, shifting moral obligations to themselves.
- Therapists can use children's stories to repair family relationships and improve emotional adjustment.

## Abstract

Today, for divorcing parents, the social norms of “good” parenting appear to impose obligations to “fight” for shared custody of their children. However, this may intensify conflicts experienced by their children in the form of cognitive dissonance. Authors conducted a rapid review to explore children’s experiences of divorce (ages three to 12 years old) in the context of narrative therapy, in order to uncover the mechanism of cognitive dissonance. Four databases of Scopus, PsychINFO, Family and Societies Studies Worldwide, and PubMed were searched for literature in the last 10 years. Results included 11 study articles, one policy brief, and one book chapter, representing the experiences of 1169 children from seven developed countries/regions. Our findings suggest four themes associated with cognitive dissonance, whereby the first three represent the formation of harmful perceptions of cognitive dissonance resulting from divorce. The fourth represents the children’s coping strategies to reduce their cognitive dissonance. We advocate that family mediators consider narrative therapy targeting cognitive dissonance as a means of repairing disruptions to family coherence. In this regard, we recommend that future research explore the consequences of children’s confrontation of their cognitive dissonance in narratives found to be prevalent in children’s experiences of divorce.

Children who experience parental rejection during divorce: Would targeting children’s conflicting beliefs in stories of their relationships help them to better adjust?: Divorce can be emotionally traumatic on children, especially in the early years between three and 12 years old. However, not all children that experience divorce are traumatized. Rather, children that experience parental rejection or avoidance as part of divorce, can be helped through telling their stories, to make sense and transform their experiences. We were guided by a question of whether children going through parental divorce, and whom hold two contradicting ideas (like love and hate towards one or more parents), might be helped when they talk about their conflicting perceptions with a therapist. In this paper, we explored children’s storied literature in the last 10 years to better describe children who talked about their conflicting ideas in their relationships during divorce, and what were the consequences for them. We found that loyalty conflicts were prevalent in their relationships with parental figures, but that these were not only emotionally harmful to their adjustment, but could also help them repair their relationships. In the latter case, family therapists drew on children’s contradicting beliefs to help children work through them. This strategy shifted children’s moral obligation from their parents to themselves, and helped them find alternative ways to cope. We recommend family therapists draw out conflicting perceptions in children’s storied experiences of divorce, to help them reconsider their moral obligations and forge better working alliances in their relationships.