# Being a Surrogate Partner: The Challenges of Fragile Boundaries

## TL;DR

This paper explores the challenges surrogate partners face in maintaining boundaries while providing intimate therapy.

## Contribution

The study introduces a novel analysis of surrogate partner experiences using psychotherapy and role theory frameworks.

## Key findings

- Surrogate partners experience dramatic role transitions involving emotional and sexual engagement.
- Secrecy is a key aspect of the SP role, affecting personal and professional identity.
- Role ambiguity leads to challenges in family and social relationships.

## Abstract

Surrogate partner therapy is a type of treatment in which the surrogate partner (SP) works in a triadic setting with a sex therapist and a patient. At the same time, the SP acts as an intimate surrogate partner to the patient. The SP treatment includes a range of therapeutic experiences such as relaxation, intimate communication, sensual and sexual contact, and training for the acquisition of social skills. In the current study, we ask what and how SPs experience, understand, and construct boundaries in their work. We used Winnicott’s therapeutic conceptualization of psychotherapy as a mode of playing and Goffman's dramaturgical role theory as the theoretical framework for our exploration. Applying a phenomenological and empathic approach, we analyzed 13 in-depth interviews with Israeli SP. It appears that SP’s transitions from one performance to another are dramatic, in that their role requires the involvement of sexual and emotional helping relations with their patients. Moreover, SPs are obliged to have secrecy at all levels and in various relationships in their lives. We uncovered various complexities that SPs experience, such as a lack of clarity about their role, which creates challenges for building their professional and personal identity and affects their family and social relationships.