Talking about privacy always feels like opening a can of worms. How Intimate Partners Navigate Boundary-Setting in Mobile Phone Without Words

TL;DR

This study explores how intimate partners manage mobile phone privacy nonverbally through silence and cultural norms, revealing motivations, content sensitivities, and relational dynamics influencing boundary-setting without explicit communication.

Contribution

It uncovers the role of privacy silence and content-specific sensitivities in nonverbal boundary management among couples, filling a gap in understanding digital privacy practices without explicit negotiation.

Findings

Partners use silence to manage privacy boundaries.

Five motivations drive privacy silence in relationships.

Content sensitivities vary by relationship stage.

Abstract

Mobile phones, as simultaneously personal and shared technologies, complicate how partners manage digital privacy in intimate relationships. While prior research has examined device-access practices, explicit privacy-rule negotiation, and toxic practices such as surveillance, little is known about how couples manage digital privacy without direct discussion in everyday relationships. To address this gap, we ask: How is digital privacy managed nonverbally and across different media on mobile phones? Drawing on 20 semi-structured interviews, we find that partners often regulate privacy practices through privacy silence -- the intentional avoidance of privacy-related conversations. We identify five motivations for leaving boundaries unspoken: perceiving privacy as unnecessary in intimacy, assuming implicit respect for boundaries, signaling trust and closeness, avoiding potential conflict or harm, and responding to broader societal and cultural expectations that discourage explicit privacy talk. We also identify a hierarchical grouping of content-specific privacy sensitivities, ranging from highly private domains such as financial data to lower-risk domains such as streaming accounts, and show how these priorities shift across relationship stages. These findings show how silence, culture, and content sensitivity shape everyday boundary-setting and underscore the relational and emotional dynamics underpinning mobile phone privacy management.